There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
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it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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