before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
