There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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