Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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