I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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