We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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