I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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