i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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