Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
