I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize