So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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