No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Randomize
