And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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