a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
