we were pretty classy up until the second keg
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize