he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
