Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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