one might say we're banned from that church
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
