and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
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