dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
