is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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