My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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