I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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