I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
