I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
