Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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