i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Goodnight sugar queer
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
His hands were made for my vagina.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?