please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
please come you make the beer taste better
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
She needs sedatives and a leash
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck