Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?