he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
Randomize
