I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
