i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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