high people should be assigned attendants
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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