They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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