fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Its about making memories worth repressing
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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