your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
