More tranny stories later!
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
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