Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
There's always time for handjobs
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
