So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize