it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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