i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
