don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
