i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
