i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
