i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
