Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
So apparently I’m into choking now
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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