I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
