I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
