What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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