I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
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