i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
