Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
