I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
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idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
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You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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