On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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