she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
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