what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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