she was so not down for the gang bang
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
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