well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
We just shotgunned beers for America
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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