i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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