you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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