I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize