But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
